Confusion

Do I really want to know, why does this matter, why can't i do this, is this right or wrong, why can't i get good grades anymore, why can't i stay focused and do my best at one thing.........I don't know. My life, its full of questions, most of them yet to be answered. Is life just a dream or is it a nightmare. My life was a nightmare, i went to a school were no one cared about you, and where your closest friends could become your enemies. I was an outcast, a reject, someone cut off from the regular school life, and i barely had 2 trustworthy friends over 3 years. I'm not mentioning any names but some kids were just fuckin bitches who didn't care about anything but putting someone else down to make themselves feel better. The only thing keeping me from a complete meltdown was my math teacher, a group of friends, and grades. Without them i would have probably gone into a little bit of a depression, with no end in sight. Until i moved to JC.

JC is probably the best choice i've ever made and ever will make in my school career. JC is almost perfect for me, friendly people who actually care about who thinks what and what they can do to help. Right now the only thing i am having a problem with is grades, i think i get to distracted now. The worst part is that i can't help it, what am i going to do, its just who i am, i can't change on command, and i won't. Medicine won't help its just another thing on my mind and something i have to remember. Plus side-effects what happens then. I don't know. But for now i'm living a dream, having fun, living the way life is supposed to be. I don't know whats going to happen or when and thats where i got my motto "Life for today and what you have, not tommorow and what you want" you can't control the future. -Derrick-